


Wonders Never Cease

by Yiffandquiff (princesslexi763)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Break Up, Drinking, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, High School, M/M, Parties, Smut, Teenagers, Vomit, dan and phil are both 17, dan throws up at the party, sex between consenting minors, tyler is like the humor of this piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 02:34:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15876693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesslexi763/pseuds/Yiffandquiff
Summary: Dan and Phil were one of the 'it' couples at their high school until one day, Phil blindsides Dan with a break up. Hurting and seeking comfort, Dan befriends Tyler who helps him get through the first tough few months of the break up, mending his shattered heart. But Dan doesn't want to move on. He wants to be with Phil and maybe, just maybe, in the end, he'll still get to be.





	Wonders Never Cease

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my baby of the summer! I started working on this the end of July and I finished it close to the middle-end of August. I took a break though to let this fic get some rest before I went back and did the final approach of the edits, getting the fic to where I wanted it to be! I hope you like and if you do, please consider dropping a comment and letting me know that! Thanks to all of you guys for reading! Happy reading! :) 
> 
> **Warnings:** vomit, heavy angst, break up, underage smut between consenting patrons, parties, alcohol

Dan met Phil when he was just a child. Back when they had no worries and qualms about how the world worked.

They met through their mothers who worked together at the local accounting office and so from a young age, Dan became acquainted with the ‘ginger haired kid with the blue eyes’, or, that’s how everyone else referred to Phil.

As time passed, Dan didn’t know what first sparked the feelings for Phil. Maybe it was because Phil was attractive. Or maybe it’s because Phil was his first actual friend that he’d ever had. But when they turned fifteen, and Dan had started to realize he wasn’t normal, it was the same time that Dan came out to Phil. He knew he liked boys. Or, rather, Dan knew he liked one boy in particular. And that boy was Phil.

Never in a million years did Dan think Phil would feel the same way. And the same day that Dan came out to him, he also had his first kiss. It was kind of cliche, but it was perfect in Dan’s eyes because he got to kiss Phil as they laid next to each other on his bed. And then that night, they slept next to each other, cuddled close, as they spent the first night as boyfriends.

They moved their relationship fast, having had sex for the first time just a few weeks later. It was shaky, and they didn’t quite do everything they should have since their main sources for what they were even doing was them Googling how anal sex worked just minutes prior. Which, in hindsight, Dan would not totally recommend but at least his first time was memorable as he spent the rest of his night sat on an ice pack as he and Phil laughed about how badly they messed up.

But it was all okay, because a few days later, they finally got it right and that set the rhythm up for the rest of their sex during their relationship.

Just two months into their relationship, Phil told Dan that he loved him. It was in that moment, when Phil confessed his love, that Dan knew Phil was the one for him. He was going to be with Phil forever. He knew he was young, but he knew. He just knew.

Everything came crashing down though. It happened so suddenly, Dan didn’t even know where it was from or what it was from. But suddenly, he was riding home with Phil from school, as he always did, and Phil pulled over, and told him that he wanted to end their relationship.

Dan’s never cried harder in his life. He could feel his heart physically ripping apart. They’d been together for well over two years, going into their senior year of high school now, Dan was sure they’d go the distance.

But instead, he was left sobbing in the passenger seat of Phil’s car as Phil cried in the driver’s seat. Dan wanted to scream at him. Wanted to ask him why he was doing this. He thought they were in love. He thought they were okay.

He was blindsided. He felt like someone just slapped him across the face and then proceeded to kick him while he was down. He ended up getting out of the car and slamming the door as Phil yelled after him, begging him to just talk for a moment because he still wanted them to remain friends.

Dan shook his head, letting the tears run down his cheeks like a river as they fell down his chin and onto his shirt. He made it only a few feet before he collapsed on the sidewalk on his street and continued to cry until he got a text from his mother asking why Phil hadn’t dropped him off yet.

He made it home but as soon as he stepped through the door, he collapsed into his mothers arms and cried the rest of the night as his mom helped him overcome the worst heartbreak he’s ever felt in his life.

Later that night, Phil tried to text him and Dan was reminded of his heartbreak all over again as he saw Phil’s contact name in his phone as ‘hubby’ with a heart and ring emoji next to it. He put it like that after he and Phil jokingly discussed their wedding but the memories of that just hurt Dan to think about now.

The text had one simple line, but it killed Dan inside:

I still want us to be friends.

Dan blocked his number that night. He then blocked all contact he had with Phil. He only saw Phil at school from that point on. He tried to act like it didn’t hurt every time he saw Phil smile while he spent his days crying silently as he tried to mend the pieces of his shattered heart.

He made new friends that helped him out his funk. He eventually became happy again…or so he thought. Until the first day of senior year when his entire life changed all over again, four months after the break up.

****

Dan woke up to the sound of his alarm clock playing Welcome to the Black Parade and he groaned at being g-noted once again. He reckoned that he should just change his alarm but he loved the song too much to pretend to be majorly offended at the g-note that always jolted him from his dreams. Not like he dreamed about anything anyway. It was seldom that he ever had a dream that he remembered.

Slipping his legs out from under his blanket, he let his bare feet hit the cold hardwood floor as he patted across his room to his door and swung it open, heading to the bathroom. This was his normal routine, he’d get up for school, go to the bathroom and take a quick shower, blow dry his hair and straighten it. Then he’d brush his teeth, go back to his bedroom and get dressed.

Today was no different.

When he completed all of that, he found himself heading downstairs, eating the still semi-warm breakfast on his counter that his mom left out for him before she left for work just a few moments ago.

And then he waited for his ride.

Except this would be the first year since he can remember where it’s not Phil picking him up. Well, Phil used to pick him up and walk with him to school and then he got his license and drove Dan to school.  This time it’s his friend Tyler. It was going to be weird, he decided. He wasn’t used to this change.

But he also hasn’t talked to Phil in nearly four months. He was sure that Phil would still agree to take him to school but Dan didn’t want to see him. He didn’t even want to face him. But he’d had to face him again today.

Phil had tried to contact Dan but Dan never answered. He wanted Phil to know how much he hurt him. He needed Phil to feel that same level of heartbreak that he felt too because he was so damn hurt.

The sound of a car horn outside of his front door had him laughing to himself because that was definitely Tyler making an appearance. Tyler was always super extra about everything he did but that’s why Dan found a friend in him so fast.

Grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder, he headed out his front door and locked it behind him as he came face to face with Tyler’s beat up Pontiac. He laughed as Tyler poked his head out the window, his blond hair billowing in the breeze and his glasses slightly askew. “Hey bitch!” Dan chuckled and walked to the car, opening the door and falling into the seat, the door hitting his side on the way in since it clearly didn’t have the ability to hold itself open anymore. “You ready to have a kick ass day?”

Dan turned his head to Tyler as he threw his car into reverse and stepped on the gas, flying out of the driveway and nearly taking Dan’s mailbox out on the way. This was just another reasoning why he needed Tyler in his life. Tyler made him laugh when he literally had lost his ability to.

“Not really.” Dan chuckled, pulling his seatbelt down and buckling it into the hook. “It’s the first time I’ll be seeing Phil in nearly three months.”

Tyler rolled his eyes. “Don’t be moping about that, darling, you’ll get wrinkles.” Dan found himself smiling slightly. “I know it’s hard for you to think about him, but listen, the best revenge is to show him how happy you are. So start smiling more. Start showing him who he gave up. Get him to come begging to you to take him back.”

“He doesn’t want me anymore.” Dan said. “He’s moved on already.”

“Even more reason why you should show him you’ve moved on too.” Tyler pressed.

“But I haven’t moved on.”

Tyler sighed. “I know that. Everyone in the damn world knows that. But look, just play pretend and act like you have. Like I said, it’s the best type of revenge.”

Dan shrugged but smiled a small smile as he looked out the window and watched as the street’s passed by. When they passed by Sycamore Ave, Phil’s road, he found himself watching and looking for Phil’s black Toyota to drive down the road but he saw nothing. Phil was probably already gone. He always picked Dan up at 8:10.

Dan wondered if Phil was taking someone else to school instead. Maybe Phil’s already got a new boyfriend—or girlfriend. He was bisexual after all. He probably did and Dan just hadn’t heard about it.

“I can see you sulking over there.” Tyler singsonged as he signalled and pulled into the school’s parking lot. “Remember, darling, wrinkles.”

Dan turned to Tyler and just shook his head. “Remind me again why I’m friends with you?”

“Bitch, I don’t even know why you’re friends with me.”

Dan let out a soft chuckle as Tyler parked his car in a vacant spot and turned the engine off.

He turned and went to get out of the door when a car whipped in beside his door and he waited, shaken up for a moment that he almost got Tyler’s door snapped off. As he opened the door this time around, actually getting out and standing on the pavement, he noticed the black color of the car and found his heart racing, beating of his chest. Surely, this wasn’t happening to him, right?

He quickly moved, racing past the car until he could see the make and model and sure enough, it was a black Toyota Corolla, the same car Phil owned. Then the drivers side door opened and black ripped jeans stepped out, followed by a red plaid shirt and broad shoulders. Dan followed the body all the way up until he spotted, Phil’s familiar face, but his face was now framed with a quiff, no longer with fringe or as Phil called it, his emo hair.

He looked older now, despite Dan just seeing him four months ago and he still had his baby face. He turned, the sunlight catching in his glasses and Dan swore that the angels sang all over again. But now, with Phil staring right at him, he realized how much it fucking hurt to see him all over again.

“Dan?”

The sound of his voice rang through his ears and he wished for a split second he was deaf and couldn’t hear him. But his head turned at the sound of his name and his eyes met those bright blue ones that he’d stared in so many times before.

“What do you want?” Dan found himself asking.

Phil’s face flushed red. “I…I wanted to just say hi to you.” He paused. “How are you doing?”

“Fine.”

“Are you sure?” Phil pressed. “Because I still care about you and…”

Dan put his hands up and felt tears prick his eyes. He threw his head back for a second to control his tears and swallow them back. But when he moved and looked at Phil, the tears spilled over anyway. “Just shut the fuck up!” Dan snapped. “You can’t just fucking say that.”

Suddenly, there was a hand on his arm and he was being yanked away. “Come on, sweet cheeks. We’re leaving.” Tyler’s voice cut through the thickness in the air as Dan let more tears spill down his cheeks.

He wiped the water from his skin stubbornly with the back of his shirt sleeve. Dan found himself being pulled by the smaller male until he was being shoved into the bathroom stall and the door to the bathroom was locked behind them.

“Come on,” Tyler said, grabbing some toilet paper from the roll and handing it to Dan. “Wipe off your face. You have snot all over the place.”

Dan let out a snort as he wiped his cheeks and then blew his nose in the paper and threw it in the bin. When his vision finally cleared and was no longer blurry, he stared down at Tyler who was looking up at him with furrowed brows and a concerned expression. “When is it going to stop hurting?” Dan asked.

Tyler sighed. “It’ll be a while.” He answered truthfully. “But you’ll be okay soon.”

“I just want to be complete again.” Dan continued, not even listening to Tyler. “When he broke up with me, he took a massive part of me with him and I can’t heal without it. I don’t even know why he broke up me.”

“He never told you?”

Dan shook his head. “Nope.” Dan enunciated. “We just sat in his car and he just told me he wanted to end our relationship and take a break. Then I started crying and he started crying and that was how that happened.”

“You never got closure.” Tyler whispered, rubbing his back.

Dan shrugged and turned on the tap, bringing his hands down to the water and splashing his face with the cold liquid. He splashed his face a few times before wiping his face on some paper towels from the dispenser and throwing those in the bin as well.

“Well,” Tyler continued, “The best thing you can do is try and move on, which I know is hard. But it’s for the best.”

Dan nodded. He knew that that was what he had to do but it still didn’t make it any easier to do. Especially now that he knows that he will be seeing Phil five days a week for the next nine months.

But in actuality, Dan would give literally anything to be happy with Phil again. He wanted to go to his house after school, and order bad pizza. He wanted to kiss Phil again, and fall asleep cuddled into him, his head resting on Phil’s chest. He wanted to have sex with Phil, laughing the entire time because they’re clumsy and awkward and don’t know what the fuck they’re doing. He wanted to just be with Phil again.

He’d do anything to get Phil back.

“I love him.” Dan said out loud, his mouth moving before he could stop the words from coming out.

“I know you do, baby.” Tyler said. Dan had forgotten that he was still standing there.

“I love him so fucking much.”

“Let it out.”

“And I’d do literally anything to get Phil back.” Dan added. “I just want him back.”

Tyler continued to rub his back in soothing circles. “I know, bb. I can tell all of that without you even saying anything.”

“Is it that obvious?” Dan asked and Tyler nodded.

He let out a breath. Great.

It was in that moment that the bell decided to ring and tell them that homeroom was beginning soon. Dan already knew his schedule, having received it a few weeks prior, so he looked in the mirror, adjusted his shirt, and said his goodbyes to Tyler as he headed to English class. Honestly, he was convinced that this day couldn’t go any rougher than it already had.

He made it to English early, having stopped quickly to his locker and dropping off some of his other binders and notebooks first. He took a seat towards the middle of the room and waited for the rest of his classmates to get there. He knew that Phil was in this class too, he and Phil were both in the English Honors program, so he was waiting on baited breath for him to walk through the door.

But Phil never came in. In fact, the class went by and Phil wasn’t anywhere to be seen the entire time. It made Dan wonder where he was but at the same time, he told himself that he shouldn’t be caring. It was probably a blessing in disguise that Phil was no longer in the same class as him.

Dan knew that Phil couldn’t be avoided forever though.

Second period came and went and then the third and fourth did too and soon, Dan was waiting for Tyler at the lunch table. He had gotten to the cafeteria early and had already gotten his food, not like he was going to eat it anyway. He was just picking at he burnt grilled cheese that sat on his tray.

Tyler sat down in front of him soon enough, his tray hitting the table with a loud bang that woke Dan up from his mini trance as he pulled the bread off in pieces from his sandwich.

“Ugh, this day has been total shit.” Tyler started, sitting down.

“At least you didn’t start yours crying in a bathroom.”

“Touché, Howell.” Tyler smirked. “But anyway. So I was in homeroom this morning and guess who walked in?”

“Who?” Dan asked, trying to sound interested despite his mind still reeling from earlier.

“Phil! He dropped out of honors English and is now in mine. He tried speaking to me and I ignored him. Thought you’d appreciate that.”

Dan’s mind reeled. Why would Phil have dropped out of honors English? Phil was a lot smarter than Dan in that subject. He even talked to Dan about doing that in college. Maybe it was just to avoid him?

“Anyway!” Tyler continued. “After class, he stopped me and told me to ask you to unblock his number. Can you believe the guy?” Tyler paused and took a bite of the grilled cheese before spitting it out into a napkin and gagging. “So I asked him why you should do that and he told me it’s because he wants to just speak with you in private again. He said that he just wanted to see how you were but because you had him blocked, he couldn’t reach you and he didn’t want to have an outburst like this morning again.”

“Oh yeah, because he was the one clearly effected by what happened this morning.” Dan found himself scoffing.

“Right?” Tyler belted. “Anyway I told him to fuck off and he left.”

Dan smiled to himself. Of course Tyler was that extra that he told Phil to fuck off. It actually made him laugh a little bit even though he found Tyler’s words to be cutting him to the core. He kind of did what to unblock Phil’s number. Maybe he even would. It’s been four months and sure, he’s obviously not over it but maybe having Phil’s number unblocked would be okay. It could be the first step to moving past everything.

The door to the cafeteria opened suddenly and Dan found himself looking up to see who was walking in. He could have laughed at his luck as he watched black jeans saunter in flanked by their-used-to-be-mutual friends PJ and Louise. It wasn’t that Dan completely cut PJ and Louise out of his life following his split with Phil, it was just that he’d prefer to not be associated with anyone who could remind him of Phil.

It was kind of cliche, really, how Phil was literally everywhere that Dan turned. He wasn’t expecting to see him everywhere. He knew that a few mishaps were going to be inevitable but this was just life playing him a cruel hand. He was sick of seeing Phil. He was sick of seeing those gorgeous blue eyes. He was sick of that porcelain skin and raven black hair.

“Dan?”

Dan snapped out of his trance and his eyes focused onto Tyler, who was currently dipping a wet carrot in a watered down puddle of ranch dressing.

“Sorry.” Dan mumbled, looking back down at his food and sighing heavily. He wasn’t hungry anymore anyway.

“I’m sorry if my mention of Phil upset you. I didn’t mean it to. I thought you would just enjoy…”

“No, Tyler,” Dan cut him off, “it wasn’t you. Honestly. I just need to stop seeing him everywhere I go. I need to stop thinking about him.”

Tyler nodded. “When was the last time you had some retail therapy shopping at the mall?’

Dan furrowed his brows. “Not in a long time. Why?”

A massive grin suddenly spread over Tyler’s legs. “I think this calls for an after school trip to the mall so you can buy some new clothing that’ll make Phil really see what he’s missing.”

Dan sighed. “Tyler…”

“No, you’re not protesting this, Dan.” Tyler shut him up by flicking a carrot at him and a drop of water landed on his lip. Dan grimaced. “You clearly miss Phil—like a whole fucking lot. You told me earlier you wanted to be with him again. So what better way to do that than buying some new clothes and really showing him who he’s missing?”

“Because he doesn’t want me, Tyler!” Dan said, his voice cracking and his raising in volume. “He made it pretty damn clear he doesn’t want me so just shut up for a second, okay? I don’t want to get new clothes. I don’t want to even see him. I just want him to want me but he never will.”

He stood up quickly, tears rushing quickly to his waterline as he stood up from his seat and shoved his tray away. He grabbed his bag from his chair and was on his way out the cafeteria door when he caught the way everyone was staring at him from their seats. He felt watched. He felt judged.

He made it to the hallway before the first tears fell, the first of many that he’d had all day. He didn’t even make it to the bathroom before he collapsed onto the floor and buried his head into his knees and cried. He’d let go of so many tears over the past few months but he wasn’t getting any better.

Phil had really hurt him. And he was unsure if he’d ever get over it.

Tyler did end up getting him to the mall that afternoon, but not for clothing. They just went and binge ate mall food instead until Dan felt like he was going to explode. Tyler had also apologized to him too, told him that he shouldn’t be pushing Dan. But Dan apologized back because he shouldn’t have snapped at Tyler either.

Dan had heard that after his outburst in the cafeteria that Phil had left too. But where Phil went, no one knew. According to Tyler, he just watched him stand up with glossy eyes and rush out. Tyler had told him that for a split second, he was afraid Phil had followed him but no. He just left.

His car was also gone beside Tyler’s after school too.

That night, Dan spent the evening watching some movies with his mom on Netflix and then he ended up going to his room early to lay down. He was feeling pretty ill. Mostly his stomach was turning and he was unsure if it was from the anxiety of the day or if it was because he ate some dodgy food at the mall.

By midnight, he had found himself trolling social media on his phone. He made it halfway down his Facebook when he saw that Facebook has recommended Phil’s mother as a potential friend. He had smiled to himself despite the fact that he had been the one to delete her off from Facebook to begin with.

He found himself clicking on her profile and scrolling down it, seeing the recent photos of Phil that he hadn’t been able to see. He wondered when Phil had changed his hair style. Was it recent? Phil looked good like that. Dan really liked it. He remembered all of the mornings that he’d wake up beside him and run his hands through Phil’s thick hair. He’d comb through it, feeling it feed between his fingers.

Other days, they’d be laying on Phil’s bed, and he’d breathe in the scent of Phil’s hair and let it tickle his nose because Phil made him calm. Phil made him feel happy.

He continued through the photos and suddenly, he was on February and there were photos of Phil…and him. He’d forgotten most of the photos that had been taken and it surprised him. The first one he saw was from Valentines Day and the photo made tears spring to his eyes.

It wasn’t anything fancy. It was just a candid family photo with Phil’s older brother and his longterm girlfriend and then it was him and Phil. And Phil had his arm wrapped around Dan’s waist and it was so nice to look at. Everything looked so happy.

But just two months later, that happiness became a lie.

He went to close the tab on Kathryn’s account when he accidentally miss clicked and found the notification turning on in the corner saying ‘friend request successfully sent’. He nearly died in that moment. He went to cancel it but by the time his mouse moved, Kathryn has already accepted his friend request and fuck he was fucked.

He didn’t have the heart to just delete her already so he just quickly closed the screen of his laptop and set it on his desk, ignoring the burning feeling in his heart about this. He was going to regret this—being too awkward to just delete her and possibly even block her. It wasn’t even her that did anything, it was Phil. Kathryn was a sweetheart, and honestly didn’t deserve him being weird around her.

And as if life didn’t hate him enough, his phone suddenly dinged and he looked down and saw a notification from messenger…from Kathryn.  

Dan was confused. Why would she be messaging him? She had nothing to do with him anymore and he didn’t really have anything to do in regards to her either.

 **Kathryn Lester:** hey ****

 ****The three bubbles popped up.

 **Kathryn:** it’s me, Phil. You blocked me on everything else so I thought I’d try through my moms Facebook since you added her…

 **Kathryn:** I’m not being weird by being on my mom’s Facebook. She just told me you added her and I asked to message you

Dan sat back. He was not going to message Phil back. He was not going to message Phil back.

He put his phone on do not disturb it tossed it onto the floor before shutting his lights off and closing his eyes. He was going to pretend that never happened.

****

When Dan had told Tyler about the mishap on Facebook the next morning, Tyler had laughed so hard that Dan thought he’d rupture a lung. But in all fairness, it was beyond hilarious that that had happened to him. But he also was super embarrassed about it. He also hadn’t read Phil’s messages either. He just ignored them.

He didn’t see Phil at all at school, but he’d seen his car in the parking lot. This time, parked way away from Tyler’s, in the back corner of the parking lot. Dan found himself looking at the car, studying it to see if Phil would get out. But it was apparent Phil had already vacated the vehicle and walked inside.

For the rest of the week, the routine remained the same. Dan never saw Phil at school, despite knowing it was going to happen eventually. It did make him curious as to if he ever would again, or if fate was just sick of watching Dan cry over him every time he thought of him.

This went on for a while. Dan would go to school with Tyler, go through the motions, and then at the end of the day, he’d go home and repeat the cycle. But things began to change when October came and Halloween was soon upon them.

By the time it was the night of Halloween, Dan was all ready to go to the last Halloween party he would ever go to as a high school student. He was dressed as a bear and Tyler was dressed as the Tooth Fairy (it’s okay, Dan laughed when Tyler told him too).  The party was at PJ’s house and while Dan was reluctant to go because Phil was going to be there, Tyler convinced him to go anyway and enjoy himself for the night.

So here was him and Tyler arriving at the party that already was booming and crowded. Tyler led Dan in by the arm and dragged him through the booming music towards the table situation in the foyer that was filled with various drinks and punches.

“Here.” Tyler said, handing him an empty red cup and then grabbing a half full bottle of vodka and pouring a copious amount into the cup. Then he grabbed some other liquor and poured that in as well as Dan watched. “This will help you relax.”

“Tyler, this is alcohol poisoning in a cup.”

“Says who?”

“The FDA.”

Tyler rolled his eyes. “Well, if you don’t want it, than I do.”

He snagged the cup from Dan’s hand and took a long swig of it before handing it back to Dan and winking.

Dan just laughed and raised the cup up to his lips and took a drink, ignoring the burning in his throat from the alcohol. He’d deal with the repercussions later…if he had any he had to deal with.

He eventually got separated from Tyler and despite him finishing his drink, he was feeling only a little bit buzzed and still had full coherent thoughts. So he found himself stood in the back of the room in the corner, sipping at some water he got from the tap so he could nurse himself back to sobriety since he wasn’t too keen on drinking anything else.

He could see Tyler every few minutes waltzing around the party and flirting with some of the guys. Dan just shook his head and laughed. The sudden urge to empty his bladder became apparent and he soon found himself weaving through the crowd to find the bathroom.

He remembered vaguely where it was from when he used to come over to PJ’s with Phil all of the time to play Mario Kart. He made it to the hallway and walked down when he got to the bathroom. He grabbed the handle and twisted it but the door didn’t budge open. The door knob twisted in his hand and showed signs of opening the door but the door wasn’t opening. On a regular day, he’d have been fine with that and walked off, but he had to piss pretty badly. His bladder was screaming at him.

So he tried one more time but shoving his shoulder into the door and feeling it give under his weight. With the door now opened, he stepped in and immediately stopped in his tracks.

Standing against the sink, looking him dead in the eyes from the mirror is Phil…with some random girl bent over as he fucked into her. Dan felt sick. He felt like he was going to throw up everywhere.

And Phil was just fucking standing there as Dan stood there and just stared at how he and the girl were connected. Sickness was rising in his throat and tears were streaming down his face. He let out a stifled sob before he covered his mouth with his hand and gagged back the vomit in his throat. He backed out of the bathroom, turned, and threw up all over the wooden floor at his feet.

When he was finished, he was sure he could hear his name being yelled at him, hitting his skin like mini slaps. But he didn’t listen. He just wiped his mouth off on the back of his sleeve and then walked away, crying so hard he could hardly breath. He stumbled out of PJ’s house and found himself on PJ’s back lawn.

He fell to the grass and covered his eyes with his hands as he sobbed pathetic cries into his palms. It shouldn’t hurt this badly. He shouldn’t be hurting this much at seeing Phil fuck another person but it hurt. It hurt a lot. And it felt like his heart was ripped out of him again and destroyed, never to be fixed.

He was still crying when he heard the sounds of footsteps next to him walking through the grass. He moved his hands from his eyes and sniffled as he looked up and saw the one person he never wanted to see again standing above him.

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“Oh yeah, well you did a pretty fucking pathetic job at doing it.”

Phil sighed and fell down next to Dan in a seated position, crossing his legs in front of him—Indian style.

“I would never hurt you, Dan.” Phil continued. “I never thought you’d walk in on me and…”

“Don’t say her name.” Dan choked back as vomit began to rise in his throat again. He was afraid that if he heard her name, he might throw up again.

“We’re not dating. Her and I…” Phil continued.

“I don’t fucking care.” Dan said, turning his head at staring at Phil for the first time since Phil sat down. “Why don’t you just go back to fucking your…”

“Dan, stop.” Phil’s voice was strained but also demanding. “We broke up, remember?”

“How could I forget?”

“Dan…”

“Don’t ‘Dan’ me!” Dan snapped, tears clogging his throat. “You don’t get to do that anymore. You don’t care about me.”

“How could you say that?” Phil asked, his voice clearly laced with shock. “How could you think I didn’t care about you? I’ll always care about you. I loved you.”

Loved. Past tense. Hearing Phil say it caused the first line of tears to overflow and cascade down his cheeks. He just let them freely roam. He wanted Phil to see his pain.

“If you cared about me, you’d have offered me an explanation about why I wasn’t good enough for you anymore.” Dan’s voice came out as a sad whisper. They barely came out. “I thought we were okay.” His voice broke in the middle of getting that sentence out. “I thought you wanted to be with me.”

Dan’s eyes shut as he squeezed them and more tears came out followed by loud sobs of anguish. He couldn’t stop them if he wanted to. He brought his hand up to cover the sobs that were escaping his mouth but his hand couldn’t contain how loud they were.

“Please don’t cry.” Dan opened his eyes briefly but his vision was blurry. When he tried to focus through a wet lens, he could see Phil, staring at him with tears silently traveling down his cheeks as well. “You know I can’t stand to see you cry.”

“You did this.” Dan got out in a shallow breath. “You caused this.”

“I know.” Phil choked out. “And I’ll never have the words to say how sorry I am. I never meant to hurt you.”

Dan turned his head away from Phil’s gaze for a second to take a deep, shuddering breath. He tried to calm down but no matter how hard he tried, sobs still came and tears still flowed. When he found the courage to turn his head back, he saw Phil was wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

The sight made his tears flow a tiny-bit harder and when Phil saw this, he reached out. Dan felt his gentle touch on his shoulders, followed by the same familiar arms wrapping around him and holding him close. Dan felt his face pressed against Phil’s chest and he could feel the way his body shuddered and hiccuped as he tried to keep his own sobs at bay.

He should protest. He should pull away and yell at Phil, tell him how much he hates him. But he can’t. Because being in Phil’s arms feels too familiar and too close to home. He wants to stay in them forever. And if tonight is the last time he’ll ever feel Phil’s comforting embrace, then he’ll take it. Because Phil might be the root of his pain, but right now, his hold was also squeezing and gluing his broken pieces back together.

Dan didn’t know how long he and Phil just sat there, but when they separated, Dan felt a little bit better. But he also had a raging headache and kind of just wanted to go home.

When he went to stand up and leave Phil’s side, he was stopped by Phil’s hand grabbing his own, causing him to freeze. “Will you unblock me now?” Phil asked. “So we can properly talk again? I really would like to hang out with you again sometime. Just you and me, talking. I think it could help us both move past this all if we did.”

Dan, despite feeling like it was going to be a stupid idea, nodded anyway. And when he was on the way home with Tyler, he unblocked Phil from everything. And later that night, he texted Phil and they set aside a Saturday in two weeks to just spend the day talking.

But a sinking feeling in Dan’s gut told him he was going to regret it.

****

When the day came where Dan was due to hang out with Phil, he was nervous and anxious as fuck for it. He’d texted Tyler the entire night before who had told him multiple times that he thought them hanging out was a good sign. He told Dan that he thought them hanging out could possibly rekindle the feelings that Dan wanted to rekindle.

Dan had to admit that following the Halloween party, he’d been feeling his thoughts for Phil fester back up again. He tried to keep them buried but the more and more he talked with Phil, the more and more he felt them come back. He was dangerously close to giving in and begging Phil to take him back already.

But he wasn’t going to that.

When Phil arrived to his house, he was wearing his signature pair of black skinny jeans and a black shirt with neon stripes. Dan had to admit that his heart was beating through his chest at seeing him and he hoped that it wasn’t obvious. He was only here to talk. That was all. He wasn’t here to do anything with. Just talk and get some closure.

It was awkward at first when Phil first arrived because Dan wasn’t sure where to begin with anything. Should he offer Phil a drink or something to eat? Maybe if they ordered pizza or Chinese food, it would ease the tension and get them to talk more to each other. Because as of right now, they were stood in the middle of Dan’s living room, just staring at each other.

“So, we should talk.” Phil began, cutting through the silence between them.

Dan nodded. “We should probably talk about Halloween.” He passed. “But what about if we order pizza first, or something? Are you hungry?”

“You don’t have to be nervous around me.” Phil sighed. “It’s just me, Dan. Not some stranger.”

Dan felt tension rise in his shoulders. “But that’s the thing, Phil. We basically are strangers at this point, aren’t we?”

Phil shrugged. “Well, I guess we both have different interpretations of what happened at Halloween then...because I could have sworn that what had happened was a lot more than ‘we’re probably just strangers now’.”

Dan sighed, rubbing his face with his hand as he tried to form words. He needed to rectify this situation, and fast. Because he didn’t really believe that they were strangers but isn’t it normal for couples to feel that way once they break up?

“But,” Phil continued, “why don’t we talk over pizza if you’re still wanting to order it?”

Dan didn’t know what else to really say or do so he went onto his phone and in total silence, ordered a pizza from Domino’s to be delivered in just about a half an hour. Once the order is placed, Dan finds it hard to even talk to Phil. He didn’t know what to say anymore.

“Pizza should be here in a half an hour.” Dan said, looking down at the floor.

“Cool. What did you get?”

“Just a pepperoni.”

And then they stood, once again, in total and complete silence.

When the pizza arrived, Dan answered the door while Phil waited for him in the living room. When he came back, the blue box in hand, Phil was scrolling on his phone, not even paying any mind to Dan now stood there.

The tension between them was so high that Dan could cut it knife. It almost felt suffocating and Dan was definitely convinced that he had made such a big mistake even letting himself meet up with Phil again. Nothing was going to change between them. This was just going to be a mess.

“Did you want to go to your room?” Phil asked, shoving his phone into his jeans pocket. “It might be easier to talk if we’re in your room.”

Dan nodded, because sure, why not? Phil had been in his room plenty of times and most of the times were anything but talking but maybe it would help them be able to express their feelings if they were in a more intimate setting.

Dan carried the pizza up the stairs as Phil followed behind and once they were inside the beige walls that was Dan’s room, they shut the door behind them and both sat down on Dan’s bed.

They mostly ate in silence until Phil spoke up again, startling Dan slightly.

“You know, I never dated anyone after we broke up.” He said, his voice a near whisper. “The girl at the party was a girl that had been after me for years. I was drunk and I just thought fuck it and gave in.”

“Good to know.” Dan said, his voice dragged out because frankly, Dan did not care about that. He didn’t even want to know how Phil never dated after him, although it gave him a slight tinge of hope that maybe that was a good sign.

“How about you?” Phil asked. “Did you see anyone...”

“Seriously think about what you’re going at ask.” Dan said with an incredulous laugh leaving his lips. “You really think that dated someone after you when I cried on your shoulder at the Halloween party?”

Phil shrugged as he stuffed a mouthful of pizza.

Dan sighed. He wasn’t even hungry anymore. He just felt like he was going to be sick.

“About Halloween...” Phil said, wiping his hands off onto one of the napkins that came with the pizza before crumpling it and discarding it on Dan’s floor which Dan would yell at him for later. “What you said...about me hurting you...it just—it hit me really hard because I truly never meant to hurt you.”

Dan felt like rolling his eyes but refrained because he really just wanted to hear what Phil had to say. When Phil stopped speaking and looked at Dan, Dan knew that Phil was waiting for his response so he tried to conjure up something.

“You say that but you literally never told me why we were breaking up. You blindsided me and then have the balls to sit there and say that you never meant to hurt me. That’s total bullshit.” Dan never meant for the hostility to come out but he had so many unanswered questions sitting on his tongue and he wanted them to become answered. And now seemed as good of a time as any to get those answers.

Dan found his eyes glazing over again but he was willing himself to not breakdown and cry again. He was not going to have that happen. He was sick of crying over Phil.

He looked up, now realizing he hadn’t even been looking at Phil at all during his entire mini-speech. Phil’s mouth was moving and Dan could see the steam from him putting together his thoughts pumping out from his ears.

“I didn’t want to break up with you.”

The sentence was said with such careful words that it took a moment for Dan to process what Phil had just said.

But Phil wasn’t done. He was continuing to talk and Dan was just sitting there, staring at him as he listened.

“My mom and dad nearly sold our house. My dad lost his job and my mom was struggling at hers. My brother convinced my parent’s that staying here was a bad idea so my dad started contacting real estate agents to appraise our house for sale. My parent’s began to look for houses in other states, not just cities. The thought of leaving you behind without you coming with me was tearing me apart. I couldn’t deal with the fact that I’d never get to see you.”

At some point during Phil’s talking, he had begun to cry and Dan was having trouble keeping his own tears at bay. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed with more hurt and pain but also with something else. Because Phil had never broke up with him because he didn’t want to be with him, Phil had broken up with him because he didn’t want to put their relationship through the strain of long distance.

“We were friends for so long and together, we were even stronger yet but the thought of us having to have a long distance relationship killed me inside because I couldn’t deal with never being able to be with you physically. After I broke up with you, I came home such a mess that my parent’s became worried for me. They decided to stay here after all and try and make ends meet.”

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” Dan asked, wiping his eyes.

“Because I knew you hated me now.”

That one line sent Dan’s heart into a frenzy because he could have never hated Phil, no matter how hard he could have tried. There was always a part of him that loved Phil unconditionally and that part was flaring up constantly. It was even flaring up right now as Dan sat across from him.

“I tried to talk to you and get ahold of you but you blocked me on everything. I tried talking to you in school that first day but the hurt behind your eyes just tore me apart. And Halloween, don’t even get me started on that because damn it, I never want to see you that hurt again.” Phil was suddenly leaning forward, brushing his fingers gentle against Dan’s cheek, wiping away the angry tears that were leaving trails on his skin. “You’re far too pretty to cry, Dan. And it kills me inside to know I’m the reason you’re crying.”

And just like that, if the dam hadn’t burst before, it did now because Dan was crawling into Phil’s touch and wrapping his arms around him, just feeding into it. Phil’s arms were wrapped around his middle, holding him close as Phil pressed his face into Dan’s hair and inhaled his scent.

They stayed like that for a while until their tears dried up. But almost as soon as they had, Dan had found himself looking up at Phil and staring at him, his soul getting lost in those damn blue eyes.

Then they were kissing. Just short little hesitant pecks before their lips slotted together with perfect practice and skill. Maybe, if Dan was a little bit more clear minded, he would have noted how this might not have been a good idea, but right now, all his thoughts were Phil does want me. And that’s all he was allowing them to be as their kisses picked up heat and were soon being controlled by lust.

Pizza long forgotten and tossed in the box to the floor, Dan soon found himself underneath Phil, his arms wrapped around his neck as Phil kissed and nibbled against the soft skin of his neck. That was always a weak spot for Dan and Phil knew that: he always used it to his advantage.

Quick work was made as Phil reached between them, sitting back as he undid the button of Dan’s jeans, opening up the flap and pulling them down and yanking them off. His hands began to roam Dan’s hips, moving up under Dan’s shirt and feeling the soft skin underneath.

“Dan,” Phil said as he stopped his movements, his breath getting caught against his lips, “Do you want to have sex?”

Without hesitation, Dan nodded and then pulled Phil down to him, kissing him once again in confirmation. In reality, everything happened relatively fast after that. Dan has some lube in the table next to his bed and Phil made quick work of grabbing it and fingering Dan open, like he always had.

They didn’t even get undressed, the lust and want taking over completely as Phil just lowered the band of his boxers down to unleash his hard cock into the open. He quickly coated himself in a generous amount of lube before spreading Dan’s legs open wider as he knelt between them and pushed himself inside of Dan.

Dan had missed the feeling of Phil being inside of him so much that he breathed an actual sigh of relief when he breached him. Phil was just so big and no dildo or vibrator could ever replace the raw, real feeling of his massive cock as it entered him. Phil just felt so damn good and it was just so nice to have that feeling all over again, even if it was brief.

Phil’s thrusting was erratic and didn’t have much of a rhythm but they were both so worked up and in the moment that Dan came nearly as soon as Phil had begun to thrust, coating his shirt in puddles of white.

Phil came soon after, releasing inside of Dan and biting at Dan’s neck to hold back his screams of pleasure. The whole of the event lasted less than five minutes and Dan would have laughed at how quick they both were back when they were in a relationship.

But now that it’s over, the realization is hitting Dan quickly that he’s not in a relationship with Phil anymore. They had only talked and now Phil was sitting back on the bed, tucking himself back into his boxers as he handed Dan a few tissues to clean up.

And suddenly the weight of the situation was hitting Dan.

He had just had sex with Phil.

And now he had no fucking clue what he was supposed to do now.

He cleaned up quickly before going to the bathroom and taking care of the extra lube and cum that was drying in the inside of his thighs. When he got back to his room, Phil was laying on his bed, asleep and so peaceful as he was dressed in only his shirt and boxers.

Dan quickly slipped on his underwear and laid down on the bed. When he turned to face Phil, he felt tears come to his eyes all over again. Because he was sure now that he had fucked everything up. And that this was the biggest mistake he had ever made in his life.

Dan never asked Phil when he woke up if the sex meant anything. He just said a quick goodbye to him and watched as he walked out the door of his bedroom. The second the door shut behind him, Dan buried his face into the pillow and cried, screaming into the fabric as he hit his bed with his fist over and over again in anger.

He was so fucking stupid. Phil didn’t want Dan anymore. He had fed him some probably bullshit sob story to get Dan to spread his legs and he fucking did it. He actually allowed for Phil to fuck him again.

It just hurt him so much to know that this probably meant nothing Phil. He was probably just another lay and Phil was now satisfied with him. Never wanted to speak with him again now as he now has gotten what he wanted.

Dan tried to ignore the pang in his chest that was ringing with doubt when he got a message from Phil later that night, telling Dan that he hope he slept well, followed by a ‘<3’.

***

The next day at school, Dan rode with Tyler, like he always did. And when Tyler asked him about how his talk with Phil went, Dan was purposely short with him, not wanting to admit that he slept with Phil.

But because it was Tyler, he found himself being hounded anyway about what really had happened.

“So did he tell you anything? Like why he broke up with you.” Tyler asked, his fingers drumming the steering wheel.

“Yeah.”

“Well, what did he say?”

Dan sighed. “That his parent’s were planning on moving out of state and he didn’t want to do long distance.”

Tyler snorted. “That’s bullshit.”

Dan couldn’t help but feel a slight frown adjust itself on his lips. “Why do you say that?”

“Because that’s the lamest break up excuse ever. He might as well just have played the ‘it wasn’t you, it was me’ card.”

“But what if it did happen to be true? I don’t know, he started crying when he told me.”

Tyler looked at him for a quick second. “He started crying?”

Dan nodded.

“Oh my gosh, like, full on crying?”

“Yes, Ty.”

“Did you cry too?” Tyler asked. “Was it a like, full on crying sesh?”

“For a solid twenty minutes or so yes.”

“Did you...comfort each other?”

“Tyler, what are you on about?” Dan asked with a sideways glance.

“I don’t know...”

“Fine, you wanna know what really happened?” Dan asked, letting out a breath. “We talked, we cried, and then we had sex. You happy?”

Tyler suddenly slammed on the breaks, nearly throwing Dan into the dashboard. Then he put on his blinker and pulled off onto the side of the road.

“You had sex with him?” Tyler asked, turning in his seat and undoing his seatbelt.

Dan nodded, looking over at him. “We started kissing and then he asked me if I wanted to have sex and like, Phil is amazing at sex okay? He’s like a fucking God at it and I wasn’t going to turn down an opportunity to have Phil fuck me because, holy shit, Tyler. So I willingly had sex with him and then we fell asleep and he left.”

“So are you guys a thing again?”

Dan threw his hands up. “That’s the thing. I don’t fucking know. I have no idea what any of this means. I don’t even know what the sex meant to Phil because we didn’t speak of it. And I’m freaking the fuck out because I love Phil and I would do anything to be with him again. And the sex is just a bonus but honestly, having sex with Phil yesterday made me realize how much I missed him and loved him and how badly I just want to be his again.”

“Dan, you have to talk with him again.” Tyler pleaded. “You can’t just let this go.”

“Well don’t you think that I don’t know that?” Dan pointed out. “But where would I even begin? ‘So, we had sex last night and I really fucking enjoyed it and want to be with you again so where are you in this equation? Do you wanna be with me?’ Like, wouldn’t that just sound weird?”

“When you phrase it like that, yes!” Tyler’s voice raised in volume. “Listen to me, when we get to school, you’re going over to Phil’s car if he’s there and you’re getting in and talking with him. You’re going to talk about what happened yesterday and damn it, I’ll bolt you guys inside the damn car until you get out every single thing you need to say. Got it?”

Dan nodded.

“Good!” Tyler continued. “Because we have ten minutes to make it school with the hopes that Phil is going to be there.”

And with that, Tyler threw his car into drive and sped off, cutting off a beeping car horn in the midst.

****

Phil’s car was in the school’s parking lot when they got there, just as Dan suspected.

And Phil was still sitting in his car before heading into the school, just as Dan suspected.

So Tyler basically pushed Dan out of the car and into the passenger side of Phil’s car as soon as he parked. But Dan being who he was, knocked on the window of the car, leaving Phil to jump so startled that he banged his hand against his own window.

Dan just cringed inwardly at himself before Phil pressed the button to unroll the window and Dan peeked his head in. “Is it okay if we talk about last night?” He asked cautiously.

Phil cocked an eyebrow. “Right here? As in right now in the school’s parking lot?”

Dan nodded. “We really need to talk about this, Phil. And I don’t think it can wait.”

Dan watched as Phil pressed the button on his door to unlock Dan’s door and Dan grabbed the handle and swung the door open. He quickly got inside and Phil rolled the window back up as soon as he shut the door for some privacy.

“Did the sex mean anything to you?”

Dan didn’t realize that he even spoke those words until they were strung out in between them like a suspended banner.

Phil sputtered for a moment, clearly processing Dan’s sudden words. Dan just sat back, his back pressed firmly to the seat as he looked straight ahead out of the windshield at the dirty metal fence lining the parking lot.

“Of course it did.” Phil answered after a long pause. “Did it not mean anything to you?”

Dan turned his head and face Phil, looking at the sudden panic-drawn expression he was donning. “No, it meant quite a bit.” He bit his lip. He continued. “But what does it mean for us? Like, that entire conversation yesterday, what does it mean for us?”

Phil sat back into his seat and let out a long sigh. “I have never stopped loving you, Dan.”

Dan felt his heart speed up in his chest, feeling like it was ready to burst or explode. “Same here.” Dan squeaked out. He cleared his throat. “I mean, I’ve never stopped love you too.”

“And I think I’d like for us to try and be a couple again.”

And that fluttering, bursting feeling was gone quickly at the word think.

“What do you mean think?” Dan asked, his voice shaking.

“Well,” Phil continued, “I think what we had before we broke up was really great. I mean, I think we made a really great pairing and I really do see myself being with you forever.”

Dan felt a little smile tug at his lips. “Me too.”

“But I also understand if you would never feel the same way back after all of the shit I had put you through because honestly, Dan,” Phil turned to him, “you deserve someone a lot better than me.”

Dan swallowed a rising lump in his throat before speaking. “But I don’t want anyone else. I want you. I’ve always wanted you. And you’re the only person I’m ever going to want.” Dan reached up and put his hand on Phil’s check, holding his face steady. “You’re it for me Phil. I’ve known that ever since the first time you asked me to be your boyfriend.”

A stray tear fell onto Phil’s cheek and rolled down his skin until it hit Dan’s thumb, making him shiver. “You’re it for me too, Dan.”

Dan leaned in and connected their lips in a soft kiss of confirmation. Confirmation that this was it, they were going to be okay. The kiss was the final seal that everything was going to be okay between them, even if they have a few kinks to work out until their relationship is back to being where it used to be. But they were going to try it again and that’s all Dan’s wanted since the fateful April afternoon where his entire world came crashing down.

Phil pulled away first. “Does that mean you’ll give me a second chance?” He asked.

Dan nodded and smiled, the biggest smile he’s shown in months. And then their lips reconnected again in a feverish kiss until a knocking on the window broke them apart. Outside the car, Tyler was holding his phone up, showing the time to be 8:32 which meant they were two minutes late for the first bell.

But honestly, Dan didn’t care about being late, because he could sit in the car with Phil all day and go back to how things used to be and that was enough for him.


End file.
